Living together before marriage - Helps or Hurts?

Over 75% of couples that live together before getting married end up getting divorced. Statistically this may be true, and this arguingstatistic certainly gives certain groups and leaders ammunition to encourage couples to not live together, I contend that it is not the living together that results in divorce.

Let me say it again, living together, then getting married, does not cause the resulting divorce. Many of the couples who live together, get married, and then divorce report that living together helped them see signs that the relationship was not working, they overlooked the signs, and got married anyway.

Okay, I said it!

It is not being clear about your requirements, wants, needs, expectations that results in divorce, not the living together. Also, not being able to clearly communicate your requirements, wants, needs and expectations especially when they are not being met, or even worse, overlooking that they are not being met thinking it will resolve itself, or thinking that the other person will change or that you can change that person all contributes to the resulting divorce.

So, invest in yourself and get educated. Identify your requirements, needs, and wants and expectations and look for matches against your list rather than attempting to make someone fit into your list. Get educated, be real, be honest, and be yourself, otherwise you will end up in failed relationships and even divorce.

Living together is simply another way to further screen for marriage potential as long as you are real, honest, and being yourself.

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